How to Stop Binge Eating

So I’m not going to give you one of those “5 tips” blog posts that everyone loves to click on. Because let’s be honest, if it was that simple, you’d have done it already!

I’m not here to give you advice on chewing your food slowly or to tell you not to keep chocolate or biscuits in the house.

Oh, if only it were that easy!

Here’s the thing no one tells you about how to stop binge eating: All the binge eating advice in the world won’t work until you understand why  you binge eat.

It’s Not Really About Food

Many women believe that they have food cravings, but in the majority of cases, they don’t.

Let me break this down for you.

It’s 5 p.m. You’re leaving work, relieved to be going home after a stressful day. On the way, you have the habit of dropping into the store and picking up a bar of Cadbury’s (or maybe it’s doughnuts or muffins). Even though you know you ‘shouldn’t,’ and a part of you doesn’t want to, there’s another part of you that says: ‘Forget it, I deserve it. I can eat what I want.’

Almost out of defiance, you eat the family size chocolate bar or a box of doughnuts on the way home.

For a brief moment, you feel better.

But it doesn’t last long. Soon, the guilt and shame kick in.

The inner chatterbox starts up: ‘Why the hell did you just do that?’

You hide the wrappers so your family doesn’t see and feel annoyed with yourself the rest of the night.

What You’re Really Craving When You Binge Eat

But here’s another insight into this story: what if, when you left work, you weren’t  craving food?

Let’s look back.

You left work at 5 p.m. from a job you’re good at but don’t particularly enjoy. It was boring and stressful, with a day of demands from other people (most likely having to do their jobs as well as your own).

But the mortgage needs paying and the kids need feeding, so you keep going back even though it’s not the job you want anymore.

You head home to pick the kids up from after-school club, where you’ll be feigning interest in their day, dealing with homework and friendship dramas.

Then you’re making tea for them and your partner (who, let’s be honest, could probably be doing a bit more around the house!)

After that, it’s bath time, story time, and bedtime. Finally, once they’re asleep, the house is a mess, and everything needs tidying. You’re exhausted and maybe even find yourself wandering into the kitchen for ‘a little treat’.

When you look at your day, the only moments you had truly to yourself were the drive home from work and late at night once the kids were in bed.

So when you stop by the store after work or when you grab biscuits at night, was it really food you craved – or was it a moment of relief, something just for yourself before the next wave of demands on your time and energy?

The Truth About Stopping Binge Eating

At night, when you head to the cupboards, is it really food you want? Or is it what the food gives you that moment to yourself, the treat or reward after a long day?

When food is used as comfort or a reward it becomes a habit.

Somewhere along the line your brain learned that negative emotions like boredom, overwhelm or sadness can be temporarily relieved by food. 

So your brain learns

Trigger: Emotion.

Routine: Eat (sugar, high fat or high salt foods)

= Reward: Hit of dopamine and temporary relief from the negative emotion you have been experiencing.

This habit then gets stored into your brain. Then every time you are triggered you immediately reach for food without even thinking. 

Only later does that other part of you wake up and says ‘why the hell did I do that’.

These are what’s called a automatic habit loop.

We all have hundreds of them. Some are helpful like automatically knowing the drive home from work. Others are not so helpful like binge eating, or stopping off at the shops to stock up on biscuits and chocolate.

The trick to overcoming emotional and binge eating is to break down these automatic habits.

But to do that you have to start by understanding the root cause and identify you habit triggers.

Only then can you really start to overcome emotional and binge eating.

Does therapy help?

Many of my clients come to me carrying so much shame around their eating habits. But the truth is, binge eating is very common in women.

Many of us learn to cope with strong emotions with food. There’s nothing wrong with you, and there’s no reason to be ashamed. It’s just the way your brain got wired years ago.

Therapy absolutely can help with emotional and binge eating and help you to deal with trauma and upsetting events in your life. But often women come to me after talking therapy has helped them understand themselves better, but they’re still binge eating.

That’s because binge eating and emotional eating are habits. Some cues are physical, like sitting in a chair or having something sweet after dinner. Others are emotional triggers like feeling overwhelmed, wanting a reward or treat, loneliness or boredom. 

The problem is sadness, boredom, overwhelm are all part of living. We can try to manage stress and overwhelm as much as we want, but negative emotions are a fact of life. Since you can’t avoid them you have to learn how to change your reaction to them by breaking down the eating habit.

The good news is, with the right structure, support and accountability you can absolutely break free from emotional eating and get in control of your eating habits.

Take the Next Step

If you know you’re ready for deeper change, and know stopping binge eating for good requires more than a free quick tips article, then take a look at my 1:1 coaching for women struggling with binge and emotional eating.

You don’t need another “5 quick tips” article. What you need is to take action towards change.